Last fall our son, Alex, started playing baseball. We signed him up in our local league for his age bracket. However, he had never played before and by the first practice I learned we were in way over our heads. Not only is he much smaller than boys his age (he's six and I often get asked if he's four or give) but the other parents were WAAAAAAY more competitive than my husband and I are. We went to the league to see about pulling him out and they recommended dropping him down one level. That turned out to be the best decision! Not only did we find a great coach and some other kids he knew but I also made some great friends.
When it came time to sign up for Spring season (which is far more competitive than fall), I wanted to keep him with the same coach. However, I was told by the league that he'd have to move up to his actual age group since the rosters for Spring have to be "approved". I went back and forth and they agreed to let him play down one level this last time. Then came evaluations. I guess Alex played well enough that they kind of pushed me into letting him go up to 6U. My gut was telling me no, but my husband's and my gut were not on the same page.
See, up until a few months ago, my husband worked 80+ hours a week so most of the childcare fell on my shoulders. That included most of the decision making and it was something I'd gotten used to. But when my husband sold his business and was home a lot more, I knew that I needed to step back some and let him have equal say. I knew that it was important for Alex and also important for our marriage. I'll admit it was a bit tough to let go of the reigns, but I have definitely made a conscious effort. We don't always agree but we have found a happy medium (at least I think). When I feel very strongly about something, he tends to give in and vice versa.
Until this baseball situation. I thought we were on the same page until it came time for registration. I thought it was best for Alex to hold him back - he was getting good at the game and it seemed beneficial for his attention, self esteem and focus. I was worried if he moved up too soon that he'd get overwhelmed and discouraged. My husband (I'm paraphrasing on his behalf) felt like I was coddling Alex and we'd have to let him play with his own age group eventually so why not start now. I really, really, really, REALLY disagreed but I could see that he also felt just as determined. So I prayed and prayed and felt like God was telling me to let go of this one. Matt is the head of our household and as his wife it is up to me to support him. So, support him I did. And Alex moved up to 6U.
I've tried to be positive about it in front of Alex, but I STILL feel like it was the wrong decision. I miss the other coach and how he seemed to really care about Alex. Alex doesn't seem to be playing as well and honestly seems way out of his league. Last night at practice, I will admit that I had a bad attitude. It was raining, it was late in the evening and I didn't want to be there. It was all I could do NOT to let Alex see that. Luckily he didn't pick up on it and played like a trooper. Well, he played hard and didn't give up, but he didn't play well. They had to bring the tee out for him to hit off of - something he didn't need in the fall. I could see the discouragement on his face but he made me proud by never giving up.
We came home wet from the rain and I'm ashamed to admit that I brought my negative attitude back home with me. Sitting there at the field, I was sure I was right. We'd made the wrong decision and it was going to be a terrible season. No one was going to convince me otherwise. When I woke up this morning, with the same thoughts, I knew I had to do something. So, instead of continuing to stew in my "I am right and everyone else is wrong" attitude, I decided to e-mail the coach. Not to tell him we'd made a mistake, but to ask his honest opinion. He has a son on the team and I decided to ask him to be honest with me. If Alex were his son, would he want to have him play down a level or keep him where he's at.
Unfortunately I ended up even more confused. The coach said Alex has a great attitude (yeah for that) and he doesn't seem discouraged in his eyes. But on one hand he thought it would be better for Alex to be with kids his own size. But on the other hand, it was good for Alex to be with kids his own age. No matter how hard I pushed, I couldn't get him to recommend one way over the other.
Is any of this the end of the world? No, of course not. But with Alex's hyperness and tendency to be silly and goofy, I was excited that we had found a sport that seemed to fit him well. Now that the new season has started, I feel like we have lost that and it's just going to be another sport he won't stick with. As an only child, I think it's VERY important that he play team sports. I believe he can learn a lot from playing with the other children and not having everything his own way.
So, what to do, what to do? Today I'm asking for your opinions. Am I making too much out of this? Should I just let it go and get through the season? Should I try again to convince my hubby that I'm right or does that go against my role as a Christian wife? One thing's for sure, I definitely need to do some more praying. Hopefully today God will give me some good direction so I can't stop dwelling on this.
Thanks everyone for listening and for your advice. Love to all!
