Wow, what a couple of days it has been! It all started with one of my best friends writing a list of the things she thinks make me awesome (her check is in the mail) and it snowballed from there. The blog I wrote about that list got shared by a friend, then a newscaster in upstate NY read it and sent me a comment. Another friend shared it and it caught the attention of a local celebrity who is in publishing. She told me if I could get my page "likes" up to at least 200 she would consider helping me with my writing career. Holy cow! That's when I went to my Facebook friends and asked for their help. And help they did! Yesterday morning I was 114 page likes and now I'm at 210. For anyone who has tried to build up a Facebook page, that is a HUGE deal for one day. To say I am thankful to my awesome friends is putting it mildly.
I woke up this morning, saw the number 200 and got ecstatic. I couldn't believe that many people believed in me and wanted to read my crazy ramblings. And then guess what happened? I got SO nervous. Before it was mostly close friends that read my blog and now there are all these people that don't know me. Yikes! What if they decide they don't like my writing after all? What if I have nothing else to say? What if they think I'm silly or boring or whiny or just plain blah? Yep, there's a certain friend nodding her head as she reads this, knowing how I can worry about everything. She told me I can worry about worrying. And she is right. And it's her words that got me to stop the worrying.
I had to settle down and remind myself where this started just a couple weeks ago. With me LONGING to know what God's purpose was for me. It was an all consuming thought - what does He want me to be doing? What does He want me to want? Then came the answer from my hubby: to be a writer. Of course I had all kind of doubts and yes, worries, about how I could make that happen. But instead of dwelling on all those fears and anxieties, I just started writing. I didn't have a set plan for where it was going and what would happen, and for once that set me free. I stopped worrying about what people would think and if what I had to say was important and worth putting on paper. Once I realized that this was what God had planned for me, I could allow myself to think "I'm good at this" without feeling guilty. It was no longer about ME wanting to write, but about HIM wanting me to write.
And the words kept coming. And so did the messages of praise from friends and family. One friend told me that she could sense a change in my writing, that she could sense that freedom I felt. A few others told me to please not stop because my raw openness was touching them. Another shared that she felt closer to me after reading my blog. I share these things, not because I'm bragging, but to show how AMAZING things get when you get out of God's way. I know that it is God using me to get His message out. I know it is God using me to touch other's hearts. I know God was working through me to reach this woman who commented: "Thank you...going through this life with like minded women makes our struggles, our fears, our grief somehow easier to bear."
That last comment is WHY I do this. It's why I share all my crazy, sometimes silly, stories. It isn't that I think there is anything incredibly special about me. I write just in case there is someone out there who has gone through or is going through something similar. Of course I write for myself, it's very cathartic for me, but I also write because I just don't think I'm the only one who has these experiences. And now I write because it's God's plan for me.
So, today I issue another challenge. Please try and figure out what God's purpose is for your life. Pray about it, ask friends and family, spend time thinking about the ONE THING that you love to do most. And your purpose doesn't have to be the thing that makes you money or supports your family. That's where I kept getting stuck before. When I thought about being a writer, I never thought it was my main purpose because I didn't think I could make it a career. But now I understand that a purpose is the thing that makes you feel complete, makes you feel happy, makes you feel like you are contributing to society and helping others. It's that thing you secretly wish you were doing right now. Don't be afraid to say it out loud once you figure it out. And once you realize it, don't be afraid to ask for help. I wouldn't be sitting where I am today if I hadn't gone to my friends and asked for their assistance. And you know what will probably surprise you the most? How excited those friends are to help! True friends who care about you and love you WANT to support you. They are often just waiting for you to ask.
To all the new people here today, thank you for joining me on this crazy journey. I hope you stick around and share your thoughts and comments with me. I'd love to hear from you what your purpose is. Do you already know what God's plan is for you or are you still searching? If you are still unsure, I'd love to pray for you/with you in order to help you get there.
I hope you all have a fantastic day. God bless you all.
