A couple days ago my husband was playing Trivia Crack (which is very similar to crack by the way) with our son sitting next to him. This was the question that came on his screen: "which year was the first black president elected." Alex asked "what does it mean 'black president'?" Matt and I looked at each other and I felt like time stopped. A million things ran through my head in the next ten seconds, but the first thought was "I hate that this day ever had to come."
Until that day, we had managed to raise Alex pretty much color blind. He never called his African-American friends or classmates "black". If he had to describe him or her, it was by the clothes they wore or how funny they were or how nice they were to him. In fact the ONLY person he had ever described as a different color was Matt because he worked outside and was much more tan than Alex and me. This was something we were very proud of. We were glad that Alex had grown up with kids of different races in day care, preschool and now Kindergarten. We didn't want him to see people by the color of their skin; we wanted him to see all people as equal. And I felt like we had done a very good job of that until this week.
But with that question on a small screen in my husband's hands, I felt like that was all changing. How could I explain to him that color didn't matter when that question was phrased as if that was the only thing that did? How could I tell him not to describe someone as black, white, red, asian, hispanic, spanish, etc when that trivia game was putting so much emphasis on color?
We tried our hardest to explain to him that our current president is of a different race than we are and how that doesn't make him any better or worse than us. Just different. We tried to get him to see that people in this country may come from all different places but that we are all Americans. We tried getting him to understand that in our home people are all created equal.
Do I think he got it? No, I know for a fact he didn't because he told us it didn't make any sense and we were just confusing him. And I wished so badly that I could turn back time and have a different question pop up on the phone. I wanted to go back to when my baby didn't see black or white, he just saw individuals. Some of you may be thinking that I am incredibly naive to think we will ever have a world where color of skin is not a factor. And maybe I am naive. And some of you maybe thinking that I have no right to comment since I am white and can't imagine what it is to grow up African-American. And maybe that is true as well. I don't know how it would be to have a different color skin. I can't change the fact that I am white, but I also don't want that to be how people see me. I want them to see me as a Christian, a mother, a wife, a friend, caring, considerate, helpful and loving. Being white is just a tiny, tiny, TINY part of who I am. And if I don't want to be identified strictly by my skin color, I don't want to identify others that way.
I know the other day was inevitable. Alex would surely have overheard someone saying "that black man" or "that black boy" or something similar. Maybe I am lucky that we made it until he was six before him learning that others put such a focus on color. But when the subject comes up next, as I know it will, I plan on telling him that even though the rest of the world places so much importance on color, our home does not. Will this change society? No. Can one person, one family get rid of any leftover racism in our community? No. But for me it's a start. All I have control over is myself and my son (at this point). All I can do is keep working on us. I know that God doesn't see black or white when he looks down from Heaven, He just sees all the people He created. He sees each one of us as completely equal. And I want to do my very best to see us the same way.
God bless you all. Hope you have a wonderful day. Every one stay warm!
