Yesterday I woke up sick as a dog. Where did that saying come from anyway? I just have never noticed that my dogs get sick that much and if they do, they get to lay around all day anyway. So, me being sick is nothing like when they are sick. Sorry, I digress....Okay, so I woke up really feeling icky, knew I wouldn't be going to work and my biggest worry was getting Alex up and ready for school so I could go back to sleep. But he had other plans, cause he woke up under the weather as well.
Now, for all you mothers out there, you will understand what was going through my mind at first: "**it! How am I supposed to take care of myself and him? Why can't I just be sick? I just want to pull the covers over my head!" Don't lie - you have all been there! So, to say I was feeling a tad negative about the situation would be putting it mildly. I was even a bit irritated at Alex - as if it was his fault. And unfortunately, he could tell, and that made me feel terrible. I was expecting him to get crabby back at me but what he did next really turned the day around.
I was lying on the couch, he came over, put his arms around me and said "It's okay Mommy. Since we're both sick, we can take care of each other. I'll give you love and you can give me love." Yep, that's my son. The 'glass is half full kinda guy'. To counteract my tendency to be the 'glass if half empty kinda gal'. I posted something about this on Facebook yesterday but I've been thinking about it ever since and had to share what's been going through my mind.
As we wasted part of the day away, Alex was watching cartoons in one room and I was watching reruns of 'Sex in the City' in the other. It was an episode where one of the characters, Charlotte, found out that she and her husband would be adopting a baby from China. They had been through fertility treatments, suffered miscarriages and had one family pull out of an adoption. So, it was with great excitement that they found out God would finally be giving them a baby. Charlotte looked at the picture that came in their package and said "That's our baby. I just know it."
Now maybe it was cause I was exhausted and feeling wonky, but my eyes filled up with tears. Yes, I've watched that scene at least 20 times before, but yesterday it hit me in a different way. It made me think back to Matt's and my difficulties with having a baby. The months of not getting pregnant, then the miscarriages, then the fertility treatments that didn't work. I remember the frustration and hurt and pain of not understanding God's plan. I've since learned a lot about why He allowed us to go through those times and yesterday I realized another.
Alex was meant to be our child. God knew that he would be exactly what I needed. That I would need a child that made me laugh, that is silly, fun, caring, loving , cuddly and most important: positive. That there would be days that he would be the one to show me the glass was half full, not empty. That he would get me to look at things in a completely different way. That he would get me to embrace life in ways I hadn't before. And during the days when I was really sick, he gave me the push to keep going and keep fighting.
So, today God, I thank you for your perfect plan. I thank you that all along you knew just the right child to complete our family. Thank you for his giggle, his smiles, his hugs, his sense of humor, the way he loves life, you, his friends, his family, and mostly, the way he loves ME. Today I vow to be more patient when he is pushing my buttons - as only he knows how. Because I know five minutes after, he will be making me laugh at some silly comment he's made. Thank you for all the joy he has brought to our lives. It's a joy I never knew existed - but YOU did.
