Since I found out I was pregnant, I started a list in my head of all the things I wanted to teach Alex: to be tough, yet sensitive. To be sweet and kind, but not let anyone walk over him. To enjoy life, to laugh and be silly. To be respectful of Matt and I and especially, to LOVE the Lord. As all parents do, I've spent many a night, wide awake, worrying how I'm doing as a mother. Is he learning all the things I want him to? Is he becoming the little man I pray for? Or am I failing him and making a bazillion mistakes.
But lately it seems like HE is the one teaching me. He's growing into his own person and getting me to see the world through HIS eyes. And I have to admit, life as seen by a five year old is MUCH more fun!
Driving down the road, he'll point out how beautiful the clouds or sunset is - things I would most likely not even notice because I'd be too busy. Too busy worrying about things nowhere near as breathtaking as these sights.
At bedtime, if I forget the nightly prayer, he will remind me. And listening to him talk to the man upstairs, it brings me back to the basics. He thanks God for me, his Daddy, the dogs, the cat, his grandparents, his cousins, our friends, his church, the sun, the moon and all the love in the world. Really, what else is there?
He reminds me that God told us not to hate, that hate is bad and it makes Him sad. He tells me that we should love each other because that's what makes Him happy. And boy, there are days I REALLY need that reminder.
Last night, he couldn't reach his blanky and he asked for my help. I am teaching him that he doesn't need Mommy's help for everything so I said "you can get it yourself". He told me that wasn't very nice because God taught us to help each other and be a team and that I wasn't being a good team player. It was an eye opening moment that showed me how my "teaching moment" was focused in the wrong area.
One of the songs on my iPod is "Just the way you are" by Bruno Mars. I've heard that song a thousand times before, and thought I knew it by heart. That is until Alex started singing the words to me and decided it was "our song". He asked me if I'd ever truly listened to the words. I of course said "yes". He told me to listen again because it's how he felt about me. It's amazing how you get a different perspective when listening as your child would.
Over the last several weeks, we've been in different situations where Alex has met a bunch of new people. Birthday parties, a wedding, summer camp, etc. And each time when he plays with someone, they become his "best" friend. Not just a new friend, but his BEST friend. He told me this morning that he's so lucky to have so many BEST friends. If only adults could look at it the same way - that each new person brought into our lives could be a BEST friend.
It's no secret that Alex is small for his age. And there are times that I worry about that. I worry that he'll get picked on. I worry that he'll feel like he doesn't fit in with the other kids. I worry that he'll get scared around bigger kids. And as I'm worrying, he's just living life and having a blast. This morning while I was getting ready for work, he told me he forgot to tell me a story about yesterday. He told me that one big kid was picking on him and it made him a little sad. But then a couple other kids told him he was really cute and asked him to play with them. He told me that those other kids were now his friends and the first boy just didn't matter. If only I could have the same outlook - to brush aside the ONE person who may make fun of me and embrace ALL THE OTHERS who want me around.
Sunday night after Alex was a ring bearer in a wedding, we were driving home together. He told me he was sad that the bride was moving away and he wouldn't see her anymore. But then he told me that she would always be in our hearts because that's where love stays. Such a great reminder that even though we may not see people face to face, it doesn't mean we lose them.
Last week, I was so worried about finding the right devotional, the right Bible verses, the right Christian songs to lead me through the day. And yes, those are all an important way to shape our reltationship with God. But today I realize that all these different "Alexisms" are also teaching me so much. I'm learning to have faith like a child, to embrace life like a child, to love like a child, and to enjoy EVERY little thing in the day like a child.
Thank you God for putting this special child in my life. I hope I keep learning from Him - because something tells me he still has a lot to share.
